A Cherished Piece of Patriotism
Billy Madison vs. Old Man Ted and a document that inspires me.
In the classic 1995 movie Billy Madison (and yes, I realize some of you might be rolling your eyes already, but bear with me!), Billy and his friends collect dog poop, put it in a bag, light it on fire, and leave it on an old man’s porch. (I never said the movie was anything near Oscar-worthy, but hey!) They ring the doorbell, and the man comes outside, sees the bag, and shouts to his wife inside, “Hey, it’s another one of those flaming bags again!”
She yells back, “Don’t put it out with your boots, Ted!” (Obviously, this has happened a lot before). He shouts back, “Don’t tell me my business, devil woman,” and starts stomping it out while Billy and his friends hide in the bushes, watching the whole thing unfold.
The old man stomps all over the fire, takes a big whiff, and examines his boots.
“Poop again?!”
I can’t deny how deeply divided we are as a nation right now. It’s tough to even breathe deeply when it feels like a simple comment about favorite ice cream flavors, like Peanut Butter Chocolate, would spark an immediate and heated debate, with people shouting, “America hater! Rocky Road is the only ice cream that cares about democracy and the Constitution.”
I feel like everybody has multiple flaming bags showing up on their social media porches throughout the day. We wake up to the blaze, knowing full well that inside is yet another fresh pile of dog poo. “Don’t tell me my business!” We shout to that inner voice of ours as we proceed to stomp out each flame and then get even more angry when the result seems to be what we already knew was going to happen.
“Poop again?!”
Are we surprised? Of course not. Do you feel a little better? Probably a touch, but now you smell like literal feces. Again.
It’s really wearing us down to see media pundits, politicians, and even our own loved ones shouting at each other, trying to figure out who’s leaving these messes on our porches. It feels like most people have just started throwing insults at those they disagree with, leaving out the real issues. I’m worried we’re stuck in a crazy situation where we both feel like daily victims, with piles of metaphorical poop heaped on us that feel very personal and targeted. Yet, we also seem to be happy to throw our own insults onto the porches of those we think are in the wrong.
What really bothers me is that all this “poop slinging” is happening while people claim to be on the side that “truly cares” about patriotism, America, Christianity, or the Constitution.
A really clear moment when this was obvious was the January 6th attack on the U.S. Capitol. People were literally throwing poop onto walls, claiming it was to defend patriotism. Our family was so embarrassed as we watched these acts and wanted to help clean up, but we didn’t know what to do.
As a family, we wrote thank-you notes to the Capitol janitors, engineers, and facility managers. We knew that no matter where they stood on politics, these individuals would be cleaning up after that act and it had to have been really tough and disheartening.
A few weeks later, we got a letter back. Every time I read it, I feel so emotional. It’s precious to me, and I’m grateful for the reply. It’s a symbol of patriotism in my heart.
Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood was a weekly staple in my childhood, and he always reminded us to “look for the helpers” during tough times. This simple message still comforts me, showing that even when things are tough, there are always people ready to lend a hand. Our hearts went out to the Capitol building staff, who had the difficult task of cleaning up the mess left behind by the attackers. These were helpers.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that in our current divided society, we’re often caught in the middle, like Billy Madison and old-man Ted. We’re throwing things at people we think will help to “wake them up to my side” yet also getting frustrated that we’ve somehow been targeted by someone else’s mess and not understanding why anyone would keep doing this to me. But underneath all this chaos, there’s a huge group of helpers.
“Look for the helpers.”
Even better, join the helpers!
The Capitol reply letter really hits home for me because it embodies true American patriotism in my opinion. For me, patriotism has never been about political parties, ideologies, presidents, armies, or policies. In fact, I find patriotism clearly and simply stated in the very first phrase of our nation’s founding document:
WE THE PEOPLE
Helpers help people. All people!
Seek first to understand before being understood.
It will be near impossible to reduce this division until we each choose to help clean up the mess rather than add to it. Throwing a flaming bag on any porch only makes you look more idiotic and juvenile. Forcefully stomping a boot on the bag on your porch only smears the crap further. Seek to help the people around you instead of trying to change them. That is patriotic. That is the American. That is Christian. And that is Constitutional.
“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”